So what's a sports blogger to do, when there are two days of non-action sandwiched around a third day which might as well have no action?
Make predictions of course! So here's the It Takes Balls look ahead to all things worthy of consideration, and some that are not.
- The Simpsons Movie will be brilliant. Not Godfather-brilliant, not Caddyshack-brilliant. But pure Simpsons brilliant. Sure, the naysayers question how a half hour cartoon ripe with satire will translate to the Big Screen, but let's face it...nobody expected an animated sit-com about a dis-functional family missing digits and looking jaundiced would become the longest running sit-com of all-time. And it keeps on rolling, year after year. I have faith the writers can pull this off. If you need proof, the "Who Shot Mr. Burns?" two-parter should be enough. I can't wait.
- The Boston Red Sox will start hitting, Schilling will be back to form by September, there won't be any major trade deadline moves, Jon Lester and Jacoby Ellsbury will be on the playoff roster, Wily Mo Pena is history, the Sox will face the Detroit Tigers in one of the best ALCS in history, with the Sox prevailing and beating San Diego in the World Series in 5 games. Remember, you read it here first.
- Danny Ainge will fail to pull off another major trade to bolster my beloved Boston Celtics before the season starts, leaving the team (again) mired in mediocrity except that they play in the Leastern Conference and with a healthy Ray Allen and Paul Pierce, they will lead the Atlantic Division heading to the trading deadline. In a desperation move, Ainge will acquire an aging point guard after realizing Rajon Rondo isn't quite ready to lead the team with a 3.2 PPG average and the Celts will make the playoffs with a sub-.500 record. They'll be ousted in the first round by somebody like the Cavaliers because the fact that they don't play any defense will leave them helpless in any multi-game series. On the bright side, Al Jefferson will be a monster...I just hope it isn't for another team.
- The New England Patriots will win the Super Bowl. Do I really need to expand on this? Have you looked at this team? Engrave the trophy now.
- The Boston Bruins will remain irrelevant and no one under the age of 10 will even realize that New England has a professional hockey team.
- Tiger Woods will win the British Open (or more properly, The Open Championship) as well as the PGA, if for no other reason than to quiet the rumblings that having a child has made him soft. Have you ever noticed that about this guy? As soon as some sports writer searching for copy starts questioning his ability to continue to dominate, he rattles off a few Majors and shuts everybody up. The Field once again starts disappearing on Sundays, we get week after week of the Billion Dollar Smile hoisting trophys and Nike has another year's worth of commerical fodder. I can't help but love the guy. He's the single most interesting figure in sports, and will remain so for another 15 years. It's like Michael Jordan being in his prime for 25 years. Killer.
- The debate over whether The Sopranos finale was the lamest final episode in the history of television or a massive artistic triumph will continue until at least New Year's. I've never seen the show, not once, but I know more about that episode than anything broadcast on television this year. Make it stop. Please.
- And finally, Kevin Garnett will play the year out in Minnesota and then join the Lakers in the off-season. The T-wolves will get nothing in return and by Draft Day 2009, Kevin McHale and Danny Ainge will have co-written a book called Misery Loves Company: From NBA Champions to Unemployed GMs
Blue Jays at Red Sox, Thursday night at 7:05. Thank God.
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